My List:
1. Loves your good qualities, accepts and embraces the bad
without making you feel guilty for having flaws
2. Is there for you when you need him, even if it's
inconvenient for him
3. Considers you when making decisions, both big and
small
4. Listens to what you say and hears the things you don't
say
5. Growth-oriented, always trying to work on himself and
be better
6. Common beliefs/values
7. Brings out the best in you- Sees your strengths and helps
nurture those qualities
8. Respects you, everything about you- your thoughts,
ambitions, opinions, things you say, company you keep
9. Sees you as an equal, doesn't condescend and look down
on you and doesn't rely on you for validation or to be an
emotional crutch
10. Trustworthy- you feel safe being open and honest with
him, not afraid of him violating that trust or using anything
against you and don't feel afraid he'll leave you
unexpectedly and seemingly out of the blue (sadly, this is a
major fear underlying many relationships)
Eric's list:
1) He views you as his partner - the relationship is
something more than just you and him... together, you and
him are a team. And as that team, you are both individually
stronger than you could be on your own.
2) You respect him, his values and how he lives his life.
3) You're not hoping for some change after marriage... you
fully accept him now. - Yes, when you marry the man who
plays video games for 8 hours a day on weekends, he will
still be that guy after marriage... if you can't fully accept
him now, don't go further...
4) He respects you, your values and how you live your life.
5) You're able to communicate with each other, even about
tough issues and even if one person is upset with the other.
6) He's willing to put effort into the relationship - Very
important to understand what he considers putting effort
into a relationship is... he might play video games all day
when he's home, but believes he puts tons of effort into the
relationship since he works hard at his job to earn money,
buys gifts for his girl, remembers anniversaries and special
occasions and praises & encourages his girl.
7) Wants marriage with you... - This is kind of a "duh"
thing, but trying to marry a guy that doesn't feel like he's
"seen it all, done it all" is a bad idea. Granted, he didn't
need to live a James Bond life of non-stop flings - the
important thing is that he feels he no longer desires to live
that lifestyle.
