a7x

well this is what i took from my handphone.

avenged sevenfold was awesome.

i fall and crash.

i like that feeling.

luckily i have friends that help each other up.

well,if i got more clear pictures of them!

i'll post them up.

rock on.

:)

my lovely sister,
i love you so much.
i always pray for your safety.
i always pray for you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAYANG KU.
i hope you change for the better,
i hope you change for yourself.
ignore other people dissing about you.
they are just losers that's why they talk about
somebody great like you.
haha.i look forward for you everyday.
i miss fighting with you.
i miss talkin about stuff with you!
i miss you faizan.

today there's this argument i had with my baby.
it's because of i'm going to concert this friday.
i was like blur.
he gave me a green light to go.
that's why i go.
atleast i asked him permission right?
i do care about his feelings.if i don't,i can just buy it without his knowing.
i doubt he knows i care about him.
he always complaining.i know it's for our good.
to know about our mistake.
to clear any misunderstanding.i know it ruhaizat.
for me,if you let me go with a clean heart.i okay with it.
now im not okay with it.
oh god.please give me strength.
i feel like im a jerk now.
i feel like im doing all the wrong things.
i suck at relationship.
i suck at the first place that's why i'm scare to fall in love.
i suck at confessing feelings.
i suck at pleasing people i love.
BUT
i do love you!
i do love but i just don't know how to show.
i know you just going with flow.
do you know how i feel when you do this?
you have no idea right?
do you?
i know you cant feel or maybe dont feel my expression of love.
but you..
i tried.iloveyou.
i miss you everyday,do you know?
i always pray for your safety,do you know?
i do care about you,do you know?

DON'T.

don't ever regard a friend like a doll.
don't label them as friend if you never appreciate them.
don't treat a friend like heaven when you need them.
i am serious.

don't a friend make any different your life?
don't a friend stays really in your heart?
or you just treat them like a passing stone?
don't you notice that you hurt a friend.
don't you even notice that a friend actually appreciate you?
i doubt it.

oh god.i need a saviour.
i need a smile.
i need laughter.
i need love.
i need to eradicate this self hatred.
i need motivation.
i need people to steer my mind away from it.

i need to smile again.


i miss you baby.

very very tired this days.
since the school started.
practically sleeping everywhere when there's chances to.
haha funny right?
very very big eyebag i have.

damn,i cant work both weekend.
it's insane,i feel like i work 1 week without any break.:(
oh god,make me strong.

today meet baby,go eat dinner.then talk talk.:)
haha.miss ruhaizat!!

i was so pissed off today that actually to the extent that i cried.
incredibly angry.can you imagine?can you??
i actually cannot feel this way until now.
it's so bad.so very bad.

i was not born in singapore.that's part of my history.
it's a sensitive part of me.i don't take anything abt that a joke.
SERIOUSLY!well,i'm proud to be born there.:)
i am A SINGAPOREAN still.
so don't make a big fuss out of it.DAMN!

it happen in enrichment class just now.was sittin in circle.
have to introduce ourself and tell what would to change abt school and also what are you proud of.
ya,so it's my turn.jiahua pass the tennis ball to me.
so i started to BLABLABLA.
i dont know what to say abt what im proud of.
and this bloody human shouted lahh,something!
i was like FFFFFF!!!i turn and tears were actually form.
damn!i know at that point of time,i should not cry.
luckily i have aishah there.
THANKS AISHAH trully.i love you!

and i dont need people profiling my family background.
WANT TO KNOW BETTER COME APPROACH ME!
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff this people.
SERIOUS.this is partly why i don't like that group.
why should they open their big mouth!
and create such horrible untruth abt my family.oh god!!
YA ALLAH!
for your bloody info!SHE'S NOT PREGNANT.
there!!FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF this people!!
i just want a knife and carve their stupid face!

now,there's too much hatred.help me.

i miss baby.

im recovering,thats good to hear.isn't it?
haha,NGtube phase test is next week.
god im scare!nervous like crazy.wish me luck,
it's on saturday.and im the last person.last index number.
damn?!i have to wait for so long.nvm,pressure is high by the time it's my time.
damn!wish me more luck.

classes had been okay to me.boring lahh.fun lahh.
haha,i heard from classmate,mr tan is BOORRIIINNGG.
HAHA.not sure lahh if it's true.got locker already at school.
haha.have not been readin my notes.lazy se.
i'm super duper awesomely very tired this days.
i dont like it.

shit.
today didnt go school.
sick se!
i hate this.
evenin meet baby.

happy seventh monthsary.
after meeting him.
just rest at home.
i love you baby.

saturday.

raya-ing with KFC crew.without nazirah.
with baby.:)
go to IQBAL,BABY,HAYATI,AKID,MAK,ASHAR,CIK SAL house and i forget some.
bad mind.haha,had fun.:)

FIGHT WITH RUHAIZAT as usual.
haha.anybody notice?im cruel.
go back around 11.:)
talk to baby under my block.:)
alot hugs!!
:)i like!

im sick



damn it.

chalet thing.

okay.lets pictures do talking,and i'll add on.:)

i only manage to get this bluetoothing to my phone.

haha,so ya.i'll update more if i have more picture.
i'm really shagged.

our first day,i and ying zhi reached around 4plus towards 5.

our first picture of the day.

they said i put on weight.haha.

and thanks to my TUMMY!!

haha,need to do exercise already.

our CP teacher,miss uma and also miss katherine have arrive.

haha,was shocked to see miss katherine was there.

btw how do i look with the cap on?

nice?haha,vain!!hazlin took that picture.

and she sugggest to do that.

we were at BK at downtown east.

while waiting for our dearest hazlin guy to come.

ying zhi and i eat THE PIE!!

haha,yummy!!

we took alot of pictures.

cant believe we have pillow fight!!haha,

shalini and nana and ME go out to downtown to buy cards game.

:)haha,it was my beautiful idea to take picture of shadow.

:)i'm just full of crap.

we barbeque more more in the night.:)

haha.hungry mahh!!

after barbequeing.we have a walk at pasir ris park,

hmm,it's not scary.

haha,asked them if they wanted to go to redhouse.

they kind of hesitate,so ya.we never go!!

next morning have come,that is today!

i was the second last to shower.

afterwards we play UNO to kill time.

we play more UNO!

shalini and i are bored to death.

we take picture in the cupboard!

haha.dont ask why my face is like that.

we took more pictures.

and i have nothing to do to take pictures of the room.

the ceiling is very high. :)

we packed our stuff.

time to go home!!

stupid stupid happen.

we cant find the BBQ pit thingy.

stupid right.

we find it at the grass patch infront of our room.SHIIT.

we cant find it just now.

but atleast we are safe,we find it already. :)

reached at paris ris but then willie cant enter the station sehh!

sad sehh!!stupid train attendant.

willie take bus to bedok.

and i wait for him there,and thats the picture at bedok.

alright that's it.

:)

and tmr is another day for outing.damn tired!

i'm going to sleep now,later if i never oversleep.

I will cut my hair today.

already bought the tickets.
to AVENGED SEVENFOLD.
cant wait cant wait. :)

going to chalet later on.
lazy lazy.:)
i miss my bed already.

and definitely,
i'll miss my baby.ruhaizat.

hari raya.

i know it's like late for this.
actually this happened on the first day raya.
haha,I'm loving this.

okay.my sister and me.haha.we are together in blue!
well,actually i look forward for raya-ing with sister.
she home leave from Tuesday to Saturday!
long right??!?!?cool SHIT huh?
well,her stubbornness still there.naughty still there.
haha,what can i say.:)

okay,mama really look nice!haha.
finally she smile not fakely.hhahah
very difficult lahh to take her picture!!
haha.because Kan she always smile fakely!
nvm!i love you mama!

we reached auntie house.we ate lontong!more lontong for me!
more more lontong!!then after that.do pedicure.issit correct?
the one whereby colour our toenail.:)correct right?
then we take pictures.:)
posing with kak Farah's shades.:)haha.

well.so much for a family picture!
but i don't care!:)
haha.just the first day i celebrated hari raya.:)

school going to start so soon.
not looking forward for it because distance.
looking forward for it because bored at home.

Ive nothing to say.

i love ruhaizat.

this morning.go have breakfast with sayang!
haha.miss him se.he said he been up since 5.
i was like!!whatthehell!cute sehh him.

he is very sleepy when we meet.we just eat at mac near my house.
meet at roughly 9am.he have to back at 11am.sad sehh.
so short the time we meet.well i cant do anything.just seize the moment we had.
haha,well i still clueless about the Saturday event.don't know if sayang can go out or not.
well after the breakfast.we sit down and talk talk!and lots of hugs!!:)
i love him!


my friends also never update me anything.jadi or tak jadi pun tak tahu!!
hailamak!!


well,there's going to be a chalet for our CP group.at pasir ris.haha,
somehow I'm not looking forward for it.seriously.
not sure why myself.but whattheheck.i need to enjoy before school starts right?
hailamak!well,wish me luck for the chalet.haven't tell sayang.going to tell today.
i need to pack stuff for chalet soon.damn I'm lazy for that.


and ass!!need to go to work now!
lazy lazy lazy!!

ruhaizat!

i love taking his picture!
shssh,he didn't realise!
he didn't realise again!
he is looking away!damn!
aww!!i love you!!

well.tmr going to another day at work.wondering what I'm going to do.
like seriously.not looking forward for stations.hais!

brother wont change.his bloody attitude is still there!!damn it!
i really piss off with him.seriously!I've been keeping quiet for a very long time.
he is going over my head.he is on my nerve.he make me have hypertension and tachycardia!!
damned!

saw her profile a while ago.i was like damn.
oh god.safe me.period.


i miss my sayang.
i miss going out rather than working.
don't know if sayang can go out or not for raya.
:(sad sehh.hailamakk!!what happen man!nvm.if he cant make it.
I'll make sure on that day.I'll eat for him.I'll drink for him,I'll sit for him.:)
nice Kan!!then Kan everything i do, i think of him.and of course lahh YANG MAHA ESA(my god)!!
:)



oh gosh,I'm a bit on the neat side.
i love you,ruhaizat.

this must be love

I’m feeling things I can’t explain inside me

It started when I looked into your eyes

Searched all my life to find a heart as pure as mine

It’s hard to believe it’s taken so long for me to find you

This must be love that I’m feeling inside

You’re the one I trust

I could never give this up

You mean everything to me

Touched my heart and soul deeply

I really feel like this has been worth waiting for

This experience is all I need and more

The way you listen to me

Let’s me now how much you care

And now I’m falling for you

And now I know you are the one

There were times I gave up

Gave up on everything I never found someone who cared for me

My life is better cause now you’re here with me

I cherish the days so this must be love

This must be love that I’m feeling inside

You’re the one I trust I could never give this up

You mean everything to me

Touched my heart and soul deeply

Day and night I’m thinking about you

All I do I do it for you

You’ve become a part of me

Promise me you’ll stay

For the first time I know dreams come true

Cannot believe that it is you It’s so overwhelming

Can’t fight this feeling and you can’t deny

This must be love that I’m feeling inside

You’re the one I trust

I could never give this up

You mean everything to me

Touched my heart and soul deeply (2x)

upset

yesterday go out with sayang.
we fight again.it's like every time we fight.
over the phone.over text message.even in person!
what the hell.
I'm a sensitive person.i do admit!
and sometime i do thing according to my thinking.
like giving my schedule to manager.the next thing i knew he was upset abt it.
i don't know what to do seriously.i WAS like damned?
i give four days a week.well i have nothing to do during my holidays.
seriously.i don't feel like in a festive mood this year.weird!
BTW it's my first time almost to tears when asking for forgiveness.
weird right.i love seeing my family member cry.
don't ask why.I'm crazy/Gila!!
hehe!!
patch up with sayang already!!
but he still sad.
i know it's over something.
then he said something abt future.OH GOD.
what is sit this time.i don't want to lose him.
i doubt he KNOWS my feelings.

my eyes hurts alot!
there's something growing there.Ya Allah!
i hope it's nothing serious.people says it's tembel.
i think it's tembel too.it's my first time having this thingy.

just now work,cashier today.i thought today will be very very busy.
however it's not.
thank you GOD.everything is very cool.
after work.i fought with sayang again.it's a misunderstanding.
i feel offended when he keep on asking why i finish late.
the next thing i know i was yelling to him.seriously yelling!
such an attitude i have.i really need to control this ANGER!
luckily sayang is not a angry person.
he said that, he understand that i can get angry easily.
:)
I'm become more cooler when he text that.

hehe.

cool.

selamat hari raya!

today.haven't ask forgiveness yet.maybe later on.I'm going to be dumbly quiet.
hehe.stupid seriously.well,I'm coward when coming to this thing.but when I'm going to say it.its going to ikhlas.

i fight my sayang baby yesterday.damn shiit.just because of y bloody mood swing!
damn this mood swing.we fight on message.don't dare to call because i can just yell to him.
in fact i cried yesterday.what the fuck!!
I'm not looking forward for raya yesterday.stupid right?
and afterward.i try to cheer myself up,crazy.

why must i be emotional.why must i be angry over nothing.
hais.BTW i patch things up with him.I'm happy now.
such crazy world inside my head!
crazy crazy.


nvmnvm.today going to auntie house.put up simple make-up.
i hate make-up.haha.make my face heavy.well.thats my opinion.

I'm looking forward for going out.and see people wearing BAJU KURUNG!
heh,:)
I'm going to ignore negative thoughts now!
time to raya!